That's a very important question to many. Isn't conceiving a child a miracle in of it's self? Something so beautiful, yet many of us take it for granted, myself included. No mother or parent expects to go through what we went through, this very hard and long journey to our blessed Ella..
February 20th 2011 I received a phone call stating my AFP test came back positive and I needed to have an ultra sound to check on the baby. This was any mothers worse nightmare. Could this be, a chance my baby may have downs or something worse? How will we deal with this, what does this mean for us and the baby?
Many raw emotions rush through me as I try to sort all this out in my head. Instantly I called my husband and we began to pray. For my husband and I the power of prayer and our Faith in the Lord are the key elements to get through our darkest moments in life. From there we call our Pastor (who is also my father) and again we begin to pray. Then family members and our church family all join in and before we knew it the prayer chain is now states long as people we know and not know lift my baby up in prayer.
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The next step was a long ultra sound where we found out the baby was a girl, Ella Simone'. Bitter sweet and eyes filled with tears we are hopeful she is ok. The Dr. finds something not right with the heart and sends us to a Pediatric Cardiologist right away. For us, it was the longest wait of our lives. Not knowing what to expect or what this even means, we wait with heavy hearts and eyes filled with tears.
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In the findings we learn Ella doesn't have downs, but she has a deformed heart. The Dr. not being able to see her heart very well tells us he thinks the left ventricle is much smaller then the right, which ultimately isn't good for our baby.
We leave the office in utter disbelief. How could this happen to us Lord? Why is this happening? We go home and lean on our Pastor for guidance along with a hug from my father, both to help console my broken heart. My husband and I decided that we were not giving up and we gave it to God. We know if Ella was going to be spared it was by him and him alone. We leaned on our church and loved ones, as we built our strength and our Faith in the Lord. Week to week we had ultra sounds along with appointments with the Cardiologist, hearing no grave news but no good news either. Still giving it to God I asked him for a sign, a sign that our Ella was going to be ok, and low and behold I got one.
Ella decided to give us this in the ultra sound. A Peace sign, as if to say " mommy I am going to be ok, I am in good hands" I began to cry, I knew from that point Ella was going to be ok. God was working even while she was in my womb and I knew that the miracle was just beginning.
Ella came a month early on July 5th and needless to say her start in the new world was a rough one.
She and I were rushed to a big and well equipped hospital where she was going to be monitored for her heart. The good news came, Ella's heart just had a large hole, 2/3rds of her heart (VSD), and the left ventricle was just fine. She would need open heart surgery but it was pretty routine and her chances for recovery were HUGE!!!! Over joyed and knowing that was our first miracle we began to give God all the glory, but there was more. Ella was a preemie and she suffered from Pulmonary Hypertension, along with fluid in the lungs and under developed lungs, all which meant she needed to be on a ventilator and in a incubator. Shocked again with disbelief, I began to cry and pray, this was not good, was I going to lose my sweet baby girl?
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Later that night we were told she wasn't doing good and she may have to be flown to Boston to get better help. We couldn't believe it. The Dr's feared there was nothing more they could do, so for the rest of the night we were to wait and see what the morning would bring.
It felt like someone punched me in the stomach, feeling helpless and recovering from a c-section all I could do was pray. I asked the Lord to spare Ella and start healing her so she could stay here with us. Then I remembered the ultra sound picture, I know God doesn't just work half miracles, I gave Ella to him, now I needed to have my faith and know he was going to deliver.
The next morning the Dr.s said she was responding to the ventilator and that she will be staying.
This was miracle number 2..
As days pass by we began to prepare ourselves for Ella to be removed off the ventilator, I still was waiting to hold my sweet baby girl. Finally that day came on July 21st ( 2 1/2 weeks later) where I was able to hold Ella for the first time. Scared and excited at the same time, the nurses prepared a spot for me that took a half an hour or more. There I sat, next to Ella's incubator sobbing while holding my little girl. Finally I can bond with my baby I thought to myself. This was just one more thing I took for granted with my other 3 children. As I stared down at her kissing her little face thanking the Lord for allowing this to happen, again I knew she was going to be ok. A sense of peace came over me and I remember smiling and my tears went away, this was the time I needed to be strong for Ella, as she had shown me she could be strong and she was coming home with us!
On August 5th Ella was able to come home with us.The Dr.s admitted to us that Ella recovered much faster then they ever though., For being the sickest baby in the NICU some how she over came it, we knew that was GOD.
Miracle number 3.
As we brought Ella home for 7 weeks before her Open Heart Surgery we knew this was going to be hard. The needs she had were more then I ever could have dreamed, and we were playing Dr. it scared me to death. Ella had low oxygen levels and her lips would sometimes turn blue, due to the the Large VSD and the fluid still in her lungs. She was on a feeding tube through her nose that my husband had to change every 3 days, along with so many medications that had to be administered and the listening to the placement of the tube every time Ella needed to eat. She had to eat every three hours to be sure she was big enough for surgery. In addition to all of this, weekly Dr. appointments to check on her. Every week we would see the Cardiologist, you could tell they were pleasantly surprised how Ella was thriving at home, which made me feel good. I believe Ella's Cardiologist was a Christian and he believed in the power of prayer and had Faith in the Lord.
We learned that Ella's heart is in the middle of her chest and it is slightly tilted. The surgery might be a bit more tricky because of where the heart is located. After all we had been through, I knew it was going to be ok.
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September 29th came, dooms day for some, but a blessing to us, finally Ella's heart is going to be fixed. As I sat in the hospital room with my husband we began preparing Ella. We dressed Ella in a little fall colored johnny, we laughed cause it looked so nice with Ella's red hair. We held her and prayed for Gods hands to be on her and that she would come back to us with a better then ever heart. One by one the people came in, first the nurse, then the anesthesiologist, then the surgeon, it was time. Crying, I handed Ella to the anesthesiologist. Here I see a large fit man holding my small wonderful miracle and all I could do is pray for her safe return to us! 4 long grueling hours my family and I waited for word, something, anything. Finally at 11:30am the nurse came in and said Ella made it and was off life support and doing well. Our prayers were answered! As we knew they would be.
The Surgeon explained it was the best case scenario because Ella's heart was so uniquely placed, it allowed the surgeon to move right in a repair the 2 holes without complications. REALLY? Straightforward with no complications, just what we prayed for.
This was the 4th miracle for Ella.
These miracles are what saved Ella's life. We are so blessed and we give all the Glory to our Lord in heaven. We know that the road to recovery will be a long one, as Ella is now in Physical Therapy, but she is here and thriving. Doing very well and growing like a weed. She is surrounded by siblings who love her and people who are still praying for her. We have seen more miracles with Ella during this journey, so many more, we just keep our faith and the Lord first and we know he isn't done with her yet!
So I ask you again, do you now believe in miracles?
Isaiah 40: 29-31
He gives strength to the weary... those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength, they will soar on wings like Eagles.
The way he loves to go on car rides and just look at the beautiful scenery or experiencing new and fun things while holding my hand. Simply just for the love he shows me when I may not be so lovable. It is no secret that we have been through a rough time with our sick baby, but at the end of the day we know where our hearts are and the love we have is everlasting. Marriage is something that you have to work hard for, not take it or your spouse for granted as it can be taken away from you at any moment. Sometimes I need to remind myself of this very thing time to time. I know I want to grow old with him and sit with him on our porch in our rocking chairs watching our grandchildren as they play . I know I want to spend the rest of my life with this man. I am so blessed that God has brought us together. I look forward to learning more about him and watching the years go by. I truly believe he is my soul-mate and I love him with all my heart! .jpg)
